I Hate Cats
I hate cats. Sure, they can be cute and cuddly, but most of the time they are aloof and stinky. Now, I have another reason for hating them. Our neighbor's cats have decided to use our yard as their toilet. It's a little disconcerting to be pulling weeds and find cat-poo right there next to the lettuce. I'd like to get a pellet gun, but we could probably be prosecuted for that. Someone suggested getting $100 motion sensor sprinklers as a way of keeping the critters away. The question is, how much do I hate cats? How much do I love my lettuce?
An article I read online suggested sticking a bunch of plastic forks tines-up all over the garden to prevent the digging. I like to think that the first cat who tries to squat in our garden will get fork tines up the you-know-where.
Strangely enough, these paricular cats belong to the very same neighbor who sent us a nastygram last week about how our yard just wasn't up to par. We could write "messages" using the forks (said neighbor is up the hill from us and looks down on our garden)... Suggestions? "Fork you" and "Keep your forking cats out of our garden" spring immediately to mind.
Oh, and if you're planning to post a comment in defense of cats or attacking dogs (who, I admit are probably smellier), don't bother. If you are my friend and you are a cat owner, I love you, but I still hate cats.
An article I read online suggested sticking a bunch of plastic forks tines-up all over the garden to prevent the digging. I like to think that the first cat who tries to squat in our garden will get fork tines up the you-know-where.
Strangely enough, these paricular cats belong to the very same neighbor who sent us a nastygram last week about how our yard just wasn't up to par. We could write "messages" using the forks (said neighbor is up the hill from us and looks down on our garden)... Suggestions? "Fork you" and "Keep your forking cats out of our garden" spring immediately to mind.
Oh, and if you're planning to post a comment in defense of cats or attacking dogs (who, I admit are probably smellier), don't bother. If you are my friend and you are a cat owner, I love you, but I still hate cats.
posted by Sarah at 14:59
6 Comments:
OK. First it was Def Leppard, and now cats? Is nothing sacred?!?!
The hatred and vitriol eminating from this blog directed at things that are most precious to me is becoming increasingly difficult to bear.
forthwith you will be removed from my x-mas card list.
PS - My cats hate you too.
=P
http://www.mycathatesyou.com
MSM - I never said I wasn't enjoying the Def Leppard... my neighbor can have good taste in music and still remain a jacka**. As far as the cats go, yours are exempt from the edict since they don't crap in people's yards.
too bad. I always enjoyed your xmas cards :(
;)
okay, i'm not NOT commenting here, just not commenting...
but we still love you (and your stinky dog!)
comments are is hilarious :)
I don't mind cats. But I understand about the yard thing.
A.S. - Irrational hatred of hair metal and felines notwithstanding, I am loath to think of a truly effective cat repellent. My better half suggested sprinkling garlic cloves around your lettuce. A flaming moat around your garden is another option (My idea. Sounds pretty cool IMHO).
Honestly, a guard dog would proabably be your best deterrent, though I'm not sure the princess desires that duty.
Best of luck.
PS - The princess still gets her x-mas card. So I guess you can still see them, but you'll have to wait untill she's done reading it.
try Windex for the cat problems. It worked for ants in mexico, it probably will work for cats.
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